Saturday, April 21, 2012

You Can Do It


“We don’t put children on diets,” said the doctor.  “But the truth of the matter is that he’s off the charts, weight-wise.”

“So what do we do, then?”

“First thing is to be more active.  Put more activity into your daily life.  Whether it be playing a sport or just getting outside and moving around.  No more video games.”

“I don’t really play a lot of video games.”

“Yeah, he mostly plays with Legos.”

“Well, take them outside.  Get up and active.  Ride a bike.  Walk.  Take up running.  Anything so you’re more physically active.  And sugary snacks need to be completely removed from the home.  No sodas.  No candy and other sugar-based foods.  What kind of milk do you drink?”

“Whole.”

“Move to 2%.”

“I’ve actually had 2% milk.  I don’t mind it so much.  It’s not so bad.”

“But remember:  this isn’t a diet.  Kids need to grow into their weight rather than being worried about losing weight.”

“Yes, sir.”

Not a conversation a parent wants to have or likes to have with his/her child’s doctor.  Of course I’ve noticed he’s gained more weight over the past year.  So have I, sadly.  I’m powerless over it.  He’s such a picky eater; it’s so hard to find something for him to eat that he likes.  Not to mention the fact that since we don’t eat together as a family—ever, really, we tend to make whatever each of us wants whenever each of us is hungry rather than fixing something for all of us to eat together.

The only time we eat together is when we make something like spaghetti.  And sometimes on Sunday afternoons when we all go out to eat together. 

Everything the doctor said is so easy to do.  Everything the doctor said for us to do my son is what I need to do for me, too.

It’s really ridiculous to go on a diet.  All they do is set us up for failure.  If we can just decide to make some important changes to our regular habits, especially in regards to doing something physical, rather than focus on LOSING WEIGHT, we’ll be healthier and happier.  I know it’s true.



“Hey, Chubby!  Bet you can’t make it running around the track even once!”

He scrunched up his face and set out with fierce determination.  One way or another, he was going to run all the way around the track, even if he passed out in the process.  He knew he wasn’t very fast….they’re already shouting jeers at him because he’s so slow.

“I bet we could play a whole game of baseball before he runs all the way he’s so slow!” taunted the loudest of them.

“Yeah!  And go into overtime, at that!”  They all laughed.

But he kept running.  Slow or not, they’d only challenged him to run around the track.  And run it he would.  He was already out of breath and sweating.  He knew he was going to have a rash between his legs and under his arms, but he kept plugging.

Mrs. Jones heard the boys’ taunts and walked closer to see what was going on.  He was running the track.  Her heart was in her throat.  She’d watched him steadily gain weight throughout the school year and had wondered if anything was wrong.  But he seemed healthy and relatively happy.  An average student who loved to talk and participate in class.  And an avid reader who only had one other person in the class ahead of him in Reading.  He’d always been last in PE.  She’d spoken with the PE teacher a few times about how he always did everything asked of him, but he was always last.

And now she watched as he very slowly ran around the track.  She would punish the other boys for taunting him, but at the same time, he needed this.  She willed him to take each step.  She began to shout encouragement to him, “You can do it, Samuel!  Keep going!”

He heard his teacher, but his brain barely registered what she said.  “I’m in trouble now.”  He needed all his strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Each step was now pure agony.  He was out of breath, sweating like a pig, and was getting a terrible stitch in his side.

“Don’t stop.  Don’t stop.  Keep going.  You can do it.  You have to show these guys that you can do it.  Just a little further.  You’re almost there.  Keep going.”

It wasn’t long before all the kids on the playground, including the other classes, were watching him run.  And they were all shouting encouragement to him.  Even the boys who’d taunted him into running the track.

“Keep going, Samuel.  We’re with you.”

In his brain-fogged exhaustion, he realized that two of his classmates, both girls, were running on either side of him, keeping pace with him.  He wanted to run faster, but he was having a hard enough time just putting one foot in front of the other as it was.

“Come on, Samuel.  Just a little further.  You’re almost there.”

Are they encouraging me?!  Where’d that come from?  I thought everyone thought I was fat and slow and stupid.  No.  Those are definitely words of encouragement. 

Huh.

In a moment, he looked up and noticed that he only had a couple yards left.

I can do this!  I’m going to do this!  I’m going to make it all the way around the track!  I may be slow, but I’m going to do it!

He didn’t put on a burst of speed.  He didn’t have any speed left.  But he didn’t stop his pace, either.  One foot in front of the other.  Almost there. 

As he crossed the invisible finish line, he felt lots of pats on the back, but his Mrs. Jones was speaking:  “Don’t stop.  You have to walk around for a few minutes and cool off.  Don’t stop moving yet.”

Someone shoved a water bottle in his hand which he downed while still moving around. 

“Way to go, Samuel!”

“You did it!”

“I knew you could do it all along.”

Wow.  I did do it.  Maybe I could do it every day…..maybe this could be the activity I do every day that the doctor told me I need to do…..it wasn’t so bad……

Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Room

Walking to The Room, she felt each and every step.  Her feet felt as if she was trying to slosh through thick snow or deep water.  Picking up each foot for each step was like trying to lift hundred-pound weights.  But she had to go in The Room.  It's her job. 

But just the thought of The Room is giving her a migraine and making her feel a panic attack coming on.

"I'm stronger than this.  I'm a professional.  I can do this.  It doesn't matter what happened in this Room all of 7 years ago.  What matters is now.  What matters are the students sitting in that Room, waiting for me to teach them about writing and literature.  I can do this."

Deep breath.

It's not helping. 

Her heart is pounding such that she just knows everyone walking by her can see it pulsating through her chest.  Her palms are sweating.  She can feel the sweat trickle down her back and between her butt cheeks.  She can smell her armpit sweat and she isn't even swinging her arms.  The sweat is trickling between her breasts.  And she's not even in the building yet where The Room is.

Just a few more steps.  It won't be long now.  One foot in front of the other.  One step at a time.  Open the door to the building.  Walk through the door. 

It's ok to pause and take a deep breath before going any further.  She's sees the doorway to The Room just down the hall.  Just another hundred steps. 

It's ok.  It's all in the past.  It's been 7 years, for heaven's sake.  Think about your lesson.  Think about studying British Literature--your favorite works and authors!  You students will choose their authors.  You love this part of the process.  You love meeting your students on the first day--getting to know them. 

Boy howdy.  I'm here.  Don't look down.  Don't look down.  OMG.  I looked down.  Help me, Lord Jesus.

The memories come flooding back of that day 7 years previous where two students had come to class that day (it was the last day of class before the Thanksgiving Break and a lot of students had chosen to take the whole week off instead of just 3 days).  We'd been chatting and reviewing the work we'd been doing.  It was time to leave.  All 3 of us stood up and started walking out the door. 

I felt a little "pop" in my nether area--like a balloon popping.  I didn't think anything of it.  Pregnant women's bodies did all kinds of weird things.

Suddenly, the male student looks at the floor and asks where the trail of blood was coming from.  We look down and realize that it's me.

Oh, dear, Precious Heavenly, Jesus.  I was pregnant and I was bleeding--bad enough that I was leaving a trail of blood along the floor as I walked out of the classroom.

I raced to the bathroom where, as soon as I sat down, I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I was no longer pregnant and that there was nothing anyone would be able to do to stop the vast, incredible flood of blood coming out of my body.

Screams.  Yes.  I'm pretty sure I remember those well.  An ambulance.  Taking me out on the gurney while my students stood around and watched me being being wheeled out.  Then the terrible drive to the ER and all that followed.

And it all began in The Room.  The very same room I haven't been in since THAT day seven years ago.  But now I have to walk into The Room....not by myself, but with a classroom of students looking to me to Teach.

How will I ever hold it together? 

Don't think about it.  Don't think about it.  Don't think about.  Don't think about it.  Don't think about it.